Stan Doll
Born 7 June 1977 in Louisville \ 183 cm \ 92 kg \ hazel eyes
Favorite Atari game: Kangaroo
Stan Doll is the kind of friend you want to have. A lot of people are enthusiastic about life, but most of those people are idiots. Stan somehow pulls off his enthusiasm in a subtle, knowing and unembarrassing way. He loves seeking out and consuming the best in everything from unconventional comedy to elusive wines to German cuisine to absurdly intricate graphic design and music.
Born in Louisville, but raised on the other side of the river in Jeffersonville, Indiana, Stan now works as a graphic designer in Cincinnati. His exhaustive and jaw-dropping list of design credits includes work for both Slayer and Seinfeld. (Even more impressive since he designs using a Windows PC. Whaaaat? Might as well be left-handed, right?)
I got to know Stan best when we were touring Europe together in 2008. Much like his drumming, that trip was unbelievable and unforgettable.
Since then, I found out that if I'm stranded in Cincinnati for several days (thanks to Greyhound), not only would he come pick me up at the bus station on a moment's notice, and then let me stay at his place, but it would be so much fun that I would leave wondering why I didn't just go directly visit him in the first place.
Like I said, Stan Doll is the kind of friend you want to have.
PHOTOS BY MAGGIE HUBER
IF YOU'RE RUNNING LATE FOR SOMETHING, DO YOU WALK FASTER, OR RUN, OR JUST GET THERE WHEN YOU GET THERE?
Walk or run? Where am I? Sweden? [laughter] Come on, hippie! Drive faster!
ARE YOU GOOD AT ESTIMATING HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN A CROWD?
Not so much.
HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR PERSON RIGHT NOW?
Seven hundred-ish.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH $700? DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND WITH A LOT OF MONEY?
Oh, no. I didn't know if that question was cash-specific. I never carry cash. But technically, I have that much "on me."
OH, I SEE. SO IF SOMEBODY ROBS YOUR BANK, YOU'LL BE OUT 700 BUCKS?
Something like that. Although, I think I'm safe even if someone robs the bank! Right? [laughter]
YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR BANK HAS A BACKUP PLAN FOR STUFF LIKE THAT. IF YOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO NEVER SHAVE AGAIN OR NEVER POOP AGAIN, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE, AND WHY?
[laughter] Now we're getting into that serious hard-hitting journalism. [laughs]
HAHA, YES, SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS WERE CONTRIBUTED BY MY SLACKER INTERNS, WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN.
I was starting to think this was a puff piece. Tough call. They both feel great. I'll take never shaving. Pooping feels better.
LET'S TALK ABOUT CINCINNATI. ISN'T IT SO WEIRD THAT YOU LIVE THERE?
It's really fucking weird.
WHAT'S IT LIKE WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND YOU REALIZE YOU'RE IN CINCINNATI?
[laughs] I actually have those types of realizations a lot. Not necessarily when I wake up. Usually when I'm having afternoon cocktails somewhere. If I'm outside and the city is in view. I'll definitely have a "I-can't-believe-I-fucking-live-here" moment. It's really fucking strange to drive back to Cincy – let's say I spent the weekend in Louisville – and have it feel like I'm driving home. Really, really strange.
HOW MANY MILES ARE ON YOUR CAR?
11,650.
WHOA. DID YOU GET A NEW CAR? I WAS EXPECTING SIX DIGITS!
[laughs] Yeaaahhhhh! Got a sweet-ass Scion. The only car company sponsored by raves. [laughter] Drove it to New Orleans [for the wedding of Chris Reinstatler, K Composite #9].
HOW OFTEN DO PEOPLE ASK YOU IF STAN DOLL IS YOUR REAL NAME?
Fairly often!
YEAH. IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE A ROCK'N'ROLL STAGE NAME. DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE CHILDREN, AND IF SO, WILL ONE OF THEM BE NAMED CHARLES STANLEY DOLL THE FIFTH?
No plans yet. Although it's not totally out of the question. But if it's a dude, absolutely.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PENS OR PENCILS WITH THE NAMES OF COMPANIES ON THEM? IF SO, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE ONES YOU REMEMBER?
The last two "biz pens" I remember having were a Korean restaurant pen that was so big it had pictures of the food on it, and a Viagra pen and James Case gave me. I only use pencils for [the game] pencil break.
Work with K Composite
Part-time design project
K Composite 14
Issues 6 to 12
The printed versions of K Composite Magazine Issues 6 to 12 are available as a paperback book. 43 interviews in 198 pages!
