It wasn't so long ago that this bewitching continent was the fickle mistress of dozens of horny European explorers. Today, the bastard love children who resulted from those filthy acts (performed by a cast of humanoids imported from around the world) have created the planet's most decadent lifestyle and most feared international police force.

K Composite's History of the United States series magnifies the intrigue of single events - or the sexy exploits of individuals - and delivers them to today's savvy modern audience in a format from which everyone can learn something: An indignant, biased, revisionist essay permeated with infelicitous innuendo and seductive phraseology.

Click on a photo to select from the following mouthwateringly ambrosial narratives: